'Bloodsucking Fiends: A Love Story Chapter 32\r'

'Chapter 32\r\nAll for One, and… salubrious, You Know\r\nThey magn ingest distill in been the Magnificent Seven or the Seven Samurai. If for each one of them had been a clever professional, a gasolinefighter with a case flaw, or a broken warrior with a bygone †or if each had a secret effort for joining a suicide mission, an antiheros sense of proficientice, and a burning desire to put things remediate †they might suck in become an elite fighting social unit whose resourcefulness and courage would lead them to victory t prohibited ensemble over those who would oppose or oppress. But the fact was, they were a disorganized bunch of perpetual adolescents, un draw a bead oned and impromptu for anything solely throwing stock and having fun: the Animals.\r\nThey sat on the registers as Tommy paced forward them telling them round the vampire, ab come forth Simons death, and self-aggrandizing them the c either to fulfill turn the emperor stood by qu oting passages from Henry the Fifths speech at the dispute of Agincourt.\r\nâ€Å"The cops argonnt going to believe it, and I sternt do it alone,” Tommy say.\r\nThe emperor express, â€Å"‘We a few(prenominal), we lucky few… â€Å"\r\nâ€Å"So whos with me?”\r\nThe Animals didnt say a parole.\r\nâ€Å"Barry,” Tommy utter, â€Å"youre a scuba diver. Youve got some b anys, right? Sure, youre bald and going to fat, lull this is a chance to chafe a difference.”\r\nBarry looked at this shoes.\r\nTommy jumped to move, who hung his fountainhead so that his fatty blond hair covered his face. â€Å" displace, you have the approximately complete hunch overledge of chemistry of anyone Ive ever met. Its sentence to use it.”\r\nâ€Å"Weve got a truck to unload,” Drew verbalize.\r\nTommy go to Clint; stared into his broad glasses, ruffled his curly black hair. â€Å"Clint, idol wants you to do this. This vampire is evil incarnate. Sure, youre a weensy burned proscribed, but you whoremonger still castigate a blow for righteousness.”\r\nâ€Å"Blessed are the meek,” say Clint.\r\nâ€Å"Jeff!” Tommy said. The big jock looked up, as if the key to the instituteation lay in the fluorescent lights. â€Å"Jeff, youre big, youre dumb, your knee is pursy out, but hey, firearm, you look tidy. We might be satisfactory to use that.”\r\nJeff began whistling.\r\nTommy moved on. â€Å" rack up, your great deal have been suppress for degree centigrades of years. Its time to strike back. Look, you dont have your MBA yet †they havent wholly juiced you of your usefulness yet. Would Martin Luther King back down from this gainsay? Malcolm X? James Brown? Dont you have a dream? Dont you feel good, standardized you k refreshed that you would, now?”\r\n rack up shook his head. â€Å"I have to study in the morning, man.”\r\nâ€Å"troy downwind? Samurai tradi tion? Youre the only trained fighter here.”\r\nâ€Å"Im Chinese, not Japanese.”\r\nâ€Å"Whatever. Youre a kung-fu computerized axial tomography. You can relate into a guys pocket and take his w entirelyet before he subsists its gone. No one has reflexes like you.”\r\nâ€Å"Okay,” troy said.\r\nTommy stopped on his way to the next man. â€Å" real?”\r\nâ€Å"Sure, Ill help you. Simon was a good friend.”\r\nâ€Å"Wow,” Tommy said. He looked to Gustavo. â€Å"Well?”\r\nGustavo shook his head.\r\nâ€Å"Viva Zapata!” Tommy said.\r\nâ€Å"Leave him alone,” troy weight lee side said. â€Å"Hes got a family.”\r\nâ€Å"Youre right,” Tommy said. â€Å"Sorry, Gustavo.”\r\n troy weight Lee got up and stood in take care of the other Animals. â€Å"But you fuckers. You worthless bags of hound meat. If Simon could see you hed shoot every one of you. This could be the best party we ever had.”\r\ nDrew looked up. â€Å" political party?”\r\nâ€Å"Yeah,” troy weight Lee said, â€Å"party. We drink some brews, accusation some ass, dismember some monsters †maybe fill up some babes. Christ, Drew, who knows what kind of shit we could take into. And youre going to miss it.”\r\nâ€Å"Im in,” said Drew.\r\nâ€Å"Me too,” said Barry.\r\nTroy looked at Jeff and Clint. â€Å"Well?” They nodded.\r\nâ€Å" beat out, you in?”\r\nâ€Å"Okay,” chew out said without conviction.\r\nâ€Å"Okay,” Tommy said. â€Å"Lets throw the truck. We cant start until morning anyway. Well figure out a plan and exact some weapons hence.”\r\nTroy Lee held up a finger. â€Å"One thing. How do we set the vampire?”\r\nTommy said, â€Å"Okay, lets get to work.”\r\nMorning found the Animals in the Safeway pose flock, drinking beer and discussing the strategy for decision and disposing of a monster.\r\nâ€Å"So, as far as you know, drugs dont chance on them?” Drew asked.\r\nâ€Å"I dont compute so,” Tommy said.\r\nâ€Å"Well, no love hes pissed withdraw,” Drew said.\r\nâ€Å"What about gun for hires?” Jeff asked. â€Å"Ive got Simons scattergun at my house.”\r\nTommy thought for a moment before answering. â€Å"They can be hurt; I mean, damaged. But Jody heals unbelievably fast †this guy might even be faster. Still, Id rather have a twelve-gauge against him than nothing.”\r\nBarry said, â€Å"A interest through the heart always works in the movies.”\r\nTommy nodded. â€Å"It might work. We could try it. If we get that far, we can caterpillar tread him up, too.”\r\nâ€Å"Spearguns,” Barry said. â€Å"Ive got three of them. A CO2 model and devil that use e last-placeics. They wont shoot far, but they might gloaming him down while we cut him up.”\r\nâ€Å"Ive got a duad of short fighting swords,” Troy Le e interjected. â€Å"razor sharp.”\r\nâ€Å" sizable,” Tommy said. â€Å"Bring em.”\r\nâ€Å"Ill bring the Word,” Glint said. Hed been shouting â€Å" own thee behind me, Satan,” all night, putting the Animals on edge.\r\nâ€Å" wherefore dont you just go home and pray,” Lash said, giving Glint a push. â€Å"We need some action here.” He turned from Glint and addressed the group. â€Å"Look, guys, spearguns and swords are great, but how do we invent this guy? The cops have been looking for him for three months, and they seemingly havent had any luck. If hes rattling afterward Tommy, then the best thing we can do is ambush him at Tommys apartment. And Im not for authentic I want to face him when hes awake. Simon was my friend too, but he was also one of the quickest people I ever met and the vampire took him out like he was a baby. And the paper said that he was armed. I dont know…”\r\nâ€Å"Hes right,” Drew s aid. â€Å"Were fucked. Anyone want to press stud the ferry to Sausalito and terrorize some yuppie artists? Ive got mushrooms.”\r\nâ€Å"Shrooms! Shrooms! Shrooms!” the Animals chanted.\r\nSuddenly there was a staccato clanging, like someone battering on a garbage-can lid with a stick, which is fairly much what it was. The emperor, who had been silent all night, stepped into the circle. â€Å"Before your acanthas go to jelly, men, take heart. Ive been thinking.”\r\nâ€Å"Oh, no!” someone shouted.\r\nâ€Å"I think I have a way to find the devil and dispose of him before sundown.”\r\nâ€Å"Right,” Drew said sarcastically. â€Å"How?”\r\nThe emperor butterfly picked up Bummer and held out the nethersize go after as if he were displaying the Holy Grail. â€Å"Pound for pound, a rejoin way s ancientier never marched, and a better tracker never sniffed out a sewer rat. Ive been so stupid.”\r\nâ€Å"Beg your pardon, Your Majesty,” Tommy said. â€Å"But what the fuck are you lecture about?”\r\nâ€Å"Until last night I didnt know that the lovely young woman with whom you share your plate was a vampire. Yet every time we passed your structure Bummer went into a frenzy. Hes been the same each time weve encountered the fiend himself. I believe he has a surplus sensitivity for the smell of vampires.”\r\nThey all stared at him, waiting.\r\nâ€Å" accumulate your courage and your weapons, good fellows. Well meet here in two hours and remove this evil from my city. And a undersized dog shall lead us.”\r\nThe Animals looked at Tommy, who shrugged and nodded. They had a new leader now. â€Å"Two hours, guys,” Tommy said. â€Å"The emperor moths in charge.”\r\nCavuto watched the Animals disperse though his field glasses. He was sitting in the parking lot at Fort Mason, a nose candy yards from the Safeway. He put down the binoculars and dialed Riveras tot up on hi s cellular rally.\r\nâ€Å"Rivera.”\r\nâ€Å"Anything happening there?” Cavuto asked.\r\nâ€Å"No, I dont think that anything will now that its daylight. The lights stayed mutilate after the kid left, but I could hear a vacuum cleaner running. The girls up there but she didnt turn on the light.”\r\nâ€Å"So she likes to clean in the dark.”\r\nâ€Å"I think she can see in the dark.”\r\nâ€Å"I dont want to talk about it,” Cavuto said. â€Å"Anything else?”\r\nâ€Å"not much. Some kids were dropping pebbles on me from the roof. The guys in the foun change below the kids apartment are moving nearly now. A couple of bums are doing some close-order mankind urinating in the alley. Whats happening there?”\r\nâ€Å"The kid worked all night, drank some beers with the crew; they just split up but the kid and the wacko are still here.”\r\nâ€Å"Why dont you call in some imprint?”\r\nâ€Å"I dont want this out of our h ands until we know more. Stay by the reverberate.”\r\nâ€Å"Anything from the coroner?”\r\nâ€Å"Yeah, just got off the phone with him. Massive blood loss from the guy in the truck. None from the guy in the morgue. middle attack. They still havent found the girls organic structure.”\r\nâ€Å"Thats because she was cleaning house all night.”\r\nâ€Å"Gotta go,” Cavuto said.\r\nTommy and the emperor were waiting in the parking lot when the Animals returned in Troy Lees Toyota and began unloading equipment.\r\nâ€Å"Stop, stop, stop,” Tommy said. â€Å"We cant run all over the City with spearguns and swords.”\r\nâ€Å"And shotguns,” Jeff said proudly, jacking a blare into the chamber of Simons shotgun.\r\nâ€Å"Put that back in the car.”\r\n â€Å"No problem,” Drew said, retentiveness up a catalogue of Christmas wrap. â€Å"Dallas, November 22, 1963.”\r\nâ€Å"What?” Tommy said.\r\nâ€Å"Lee Harve y Oswald walks into the book depository with a Venetian blind. Minutes afterward Jackies scooping brains off the trunk of a Lincoln. Anybody asks, were all giving Venetian blinds to our moms for Christmas.”\r\nâ€Å"Oh,” Tommy said. â€Å"Okay.”\r\nClint climbed out of the Toyota draining a choir robe, a half twelve crosses hung around his neck. He held a Baggie full of barmy in one hand, a squirt gun in the other. â€Å"Im ready,” he said to Tommy and the emperor.\r\nâ€Å"Snacks,” Tommy said, nodding to the Baggie. â€Å" redeeming(prenominal) thinking.”\r\nâ€Å"The Heavenly Host,” Clint said. He brandished the squirt gun. â€Å"Loaded with divine water.”\r\nâ€Å"That stuff doesnt work, Clint.”\r\nâ€Å"O ye of short(p) faith,” Clint said.\r\nBummer and Lazarus had left the Emperors post and were nosing up to Clint. â€Å"See, they know the force-out of the Spirit.”\r\nJust then Bummer jumped and snatched the Baggie, then took off around the corner of the store, followed strong-nigh by Lazarus, Clint, and the Emperor.\r\nâ€Å"Stop him,” Clint shouted at an old man coming out of the store. â€Å"Hes taken the body of Christ.”\r\nâ€Å"Dont hurt him,” the Emperor shouted. â€Å"Hes the only hope for frugality the City.”\r\nTommy took off after them. As he passed the gravel old man, Tommy said, â€Å"Last week they were playing cards with Elvis.What can I say?”\r\nThe old man seemed to accept this and hurried off.\r\nTommy caught up with them behind the store, where the Emperor was holding Bummer in one hand and fending off Clint with his wooden sword with the other, while Lazarus licked the last few crumbs out of the torn plastic bag.\r\nâ€Å"He ate the blessed Savior!” Clint wailed. â€Å"He ate the blessed Savior!”\r\nTommy caught Clint around the waist and pulled him away. â€Å"Its okay, Clint. Bummers a Christian. ”\r\nJeff round the corner, his size-fourteen Reeboks clomping like a quarter horse. He looked at the empty Baggie. â€Å"Oh, I get it. They lyophilised him, right?”\r\nDrew came around the corner, followed by Lash and Troy Lee.\r\nâ€Å"Do we have a partying platoon, or what?” Drew said.\r\nJeff said, â€Å"I never knew that they freeze-dried Jesus, did you?”\r\nLash checked his watch. â€Å"Weve got less than six hours before it gets dark. by chance we should get started.”\r\nTommy released Clint and the Emperor lowered his sword.\r\nâ€Å"We need something to give Bummer the scent,” the Emperor said. â€Å"Something that the fiend has touched.”\r\nTommy dug into his jeans pocket and pulled out one of the hundreds that Jody had given him. â€Å"Im pretty sure that he touched this, but its been a while.”\r\nThe Emperor took the hundred and held it to Bummers nose. â€Å"It shouldnt matter. His senses are keen and his heart is righteous.” To Bummer he said, â€Å"This is the scent, little one. Find this scent.”\r\nHe put Bummer down and the little dog was off with a yap and a snort. The vampire hunters followed, losing fold of Bummer as he rounded the store. When they came around to the front of the store, the manager was coming out, holding a snarling Bummer in his arms.\r\nâ€Å"Flood, is this your dog?”\r\nâ€Å"Hes his own man,” the Emperor said.\r\nâ€Å"Well, he just ran in and blew snot all over the cash in register eight. You train him to find money?”\r\nThe Emperor looked down to the hundred-dollar crown in his hand, then at Tommy. â€Å"Perhaps we should find something else to put him on the scent.”\r\nâ€Å"Where was the last place you maxim the vampire?” Tommy asked.\r\nThe gate retain at the nonsuch Francis Yacht Club wasnt buying a word of it.\r\nâ€Å"Really,” Tommy said. â€Å"Were here to decorate for the Christmas party.” The Animals waved their gaily wrapped weapons to exposit the point. â€Å"And the Archbishop has come a bulky to perform midnight mass.” Tommy pointed to Clint, who grinned and winked through his thick glasses.\r\nâ€Å"Deus ex machina,” Clint said, exhausting his Latin. â€Å"Shalom,” he added for good measure.\r\nThe prophylactic tapped his clipboard. â€Å"Im sorry, gentlemen, I cant let you through without a rank or a guest pass.”\r\nThe Emperor change his throat royally. â€Å"Good man, each moment you custody may be paid for with human suffering.”\r\nThe guard thought that he might have just been threatened, hoped, in fact, that he had, so he could pull his gun, and was just letting his hand drop to his gun belt when the phone in the gate kiosk rang.\r\nâ€Å"Stay here,” he instructed the vampire hunters. He answered the phone and nodded at it, then looked across Marina Boulevard to where a brown Dodge was parked. He hung up the phone and came out of the booth.\r\nâ€Å"Go on in,” he said, obviously not happy about it. He pushed a button, the gate rose, and the Animals went in, headed for the East Harbor. Two minutes later the brown Dodge pulled up and stopped by the gate. Cavuto rolled down the window and flashed his badge.\r\nâ€Å"Thanks,” he said to the guard. â€Å"Ill keep an eye on them for you.”\r\nâ€Å"No problem,” said the guard. â€Å"You ever get to shoot anyone?”\r\nâ€Å"Not today.” Cavuto said. He drove though the gate, staying just out of sight of the Animals.\r\nAt the end of the dock the Animals and the Emperor stared forlornly at the big white motor yacht moored a hundred yards out into the harbor. Bummer was in the middle of a yapping fit.\r\nâ€Å"You see,” said the Emperor, â€Å"he knows that the fiend is aboard.”\r\nâ€Å"Youre sure thats the boat that he came off of?”\r\nâ€Å"Most definitely. It chills my spine to think of it †the mist forming into a monster.”\r\nâ€Å"Thats great,” Tommy said, â€Å"but how do we get aboard?” He turned to Barry, who was applying sunblock to his bald spot. â€Å"Can you submerge it?”\r\nâ€Å"We could all swim it,” Barry said. â€Å"But how do we keep the gun dry? I could go get my Zodiac and take us all out there, but itll take a while.”\r\nâ€Å"How long?”\r\nâ€Å"Maybe an hour.”\r\nâ€Å"Weve got four, maybe five-spot hours until sunset(a),” Lash said.\r\nâ€Å"Go,” Tommy said. â€Å"Get it.”\r\nâ€Å"No, wait,” said Drew, looking at the rows of yachts in the nearby slips. â€Å"Jeff, can you swim?”\r\nThe big power forward shook his head. â€Å"Nope.”\r\nâ€Å"Good,” Drew said. He took the Christmas-paper-wrapped shotgun from Jeff, then grabbed him by the arm and threw him into the water. â€Å"Man overboard! Man overboard! We need a boat.à ¢â‚¬Â\r\nThe few owners and crew members who were performing maintenance on the nearby boats looked up. Drew spotted a good-sized spirit tidy sum on the stern of a sixty-footer. â€Å"There, you guys, get that.”\r\nThe Animals go after the raft. The yachts crew helped them get it over the spatial relation into the water.\r\nJeff, flailing in the water, had slapped his way back to the dock. Drew pushed him away with the shotgun. â€Å"Not yet, big guy.” Over his shoulder he shouted, â€Å"Hurry, you guys! Hes drowning!”\r\nTommy, Barry, and Lash were paddling the rubber raft for all they were worth. The yachtsmen and the Emperor shouted instructions, while Drew and Troy Lee watched their friend trying not to drown.\r\nâ€Å"Hes doing really well for a non-swimmer,” Drew said calmly.\r\nâ€Å"Doesnt want to get his hair wet,” said Troy with Taoist simplicity.\r\nâ€Å"Yeah, cant fuck up that two hours of blow-drying.”\r\nTommy moved to t he front of the raft and held his seesaw out to Jeff. â€Å"Grab it.”\r\nJeff flailed and thrashed, but didnt grab the boat.\r\nâ€Å"If he stops paddling his head will go under,” Troy called. â€Å"Youll have to grab him.”\r\nTommy whacked Jeff on the head with the plastic paddle. â€Å"Grab it!” The power forward slipped under for a second and bobbed to the surface again.\r\nâ€Å"Thats one!” Drew called.\r\nâ€Å"Now grab it,” Tommy yelled. He raised the paddle as if to strike again. Jeff shook his head violently and reached for the paddle as he went under again.\r\nâ€Å"Thats two!”\r\nTommy pulled the paddle up with Jeff on the end while Barry and Lash wrestled the big man into the boat.\r\nâ€Å"Well done, men,” the Emperor said.\r\nThe yachtsmen stood at the end of the dock, watching in amazement. Drew turned to them. â€Å"Were going to need that raft for a while, okay?”\r\nOne of the crewmen started to protest and Drew jacked a shell into the shotgun, ripping the wrapping paper. â€Å"Big chisel hunt. We need the raft.”\r\nThe crewman nodded and backed away. â€Å"Sure, as long as you need it.”\r\nâ€Å"Okay,” Tommy called. â€Å"Everybody in the raft.”\r\nDrew and Troy Lee helped the Emperor get into the raft, then give over Bummer and Lazarus and climbed in themselves. The Emperor stood at the front of the raft as they made their way across the harbor to the Sanguine II.\r\nTwenty yards from the yacht Bummer began barking and springy around the raft. â€Å"The fiend is definitely on board,” the Emperor said. He picked up Bummer and shoved him into his pocket. â€Å"Well done, little one.”\r\nIt took five minutes to get everyone on board and the life raft secured to the stern. â€Å"How we doing on time, Lash?” Tommy asked.\r\nâ€Å"Were looking at four, maybe four and a half hours of daylight. willing he wake up at sunset or dark?â €\r\nâ€Å"Jody usually wakes up right at sunset. So lets say four.”\r\nâ€Å"Okay, everybody,” Tommy said, â€Å"lets spread out and find the vampire.”\r\nâ€Å"I dont know if thats a good idea,” said Jeff. He was dripping and his lips had gone grisly with the cold. The Animals looked at him. He was embarrassed by the attention. â€Å"Well, in all of the horror movies, the people split up and the monster picks them off one by one.”\r\nâ€Å"Good point,” Tommy said. â€Å"Everybody stay together; find this fucker and get it over with.” He raised a gift-wrapped spear-gun in salute. â€Å"For Simon!”\r\nâ€Å"For Simon!” the Animals shouted as they followed Tommy below.\r\n'